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I’ve got Palin-fatigue, my retirement fund is shrinking like it’s been for a swim in a mountain stream, and sailing season is slowly winding down. Soon we will be landlocked, on the hard for the winter.

I got up extra early this morning so I could listen to Bob Dylan’s newest album, “Tell Tale Signs” before heading off to work. Absolutely wonderful, even at this hour. The album, subtitled “Bootleg Series, Vol. 8: Tell Tale Signs – Rare and Unreleased 1989-2006,” is pure joy. The album won’t be released until October 7 but NPR is providing both disks for online streaming. Check it out at www.npr.org/music.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled period of despair.

foreign policy-for-dummies-bookAlthough she attended enough colleges and universities to start her own athletic conference, Sarah Palin managed only a C- in Poli Sci at the University of Idaho, home of the Fighting Lady Vandals.

Palin, who believes that humans and dinosaurs roamed the earth simultaneously, is hoping for questions that don’t require scientific knowledge. Or familiarity with history. Or geography. Or those other boring topics.

In time to beat the Halloween rush, Bishop Thomas Muthee, the bishop from Kenya who is attempting to rid Africa of witches, annointed Sarah Palin  and asked his Higher Power to protect her from witchcraft. It is unknown whether this ritual will also  protect her from liberals, progressives, evolutionists, pro-choicers, or other evil persons, such as progressive Democrats and feminists. Palin has also been seen wearing a garlic necklace to ward off vampires and said she loaded her rifle with silver bullets in case she encounters a werewolf.

custom_1222215751496_23palinkissingerSarah Palin met Henry Kissinger in New York as she began her whirlwind foreign policy training. Kissinger, who was appointed Secretary of State in 1973 when Palin was 9, kindly described her as “eager, if untested.” Palin returned the favor, saying that Kissinger “smells better than most 85 year old guys.” She also proudly displayed her yearbook, which Kissinger graciously signed.

From the AP: “The first-term Alaska governor plans to meet seven world leaders and former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger in New York City this week, where the U.N. General Assembly is convening. The meetings might help her answer critics who say she is not ready to handle world affairs. Palin obtained her first passport last year.”

Meeting briefly with seven world leaders qualifies you to be vice president? Does that mean that having cooked ribs with Rachel Ray John McCain is now a chef? (OK, OK…Rachel Ray isn’t a chef either. She’s a perky celeb who’s contribution to cuisine is making bad food in record time.)

It becomes increasingly clear why the campaign has limited press contact with Palin: she’s just not ready for prime time and they reveal this awareness by shielding her from the media, even Faux News.

If I was a Republican I hope that I would have the good judgment to be embarrassed as hell now.

Come the RaptureYes, brothers and sisters, laughter is not only the best medicine, but it can save your wretched soul. According to the Good Book: “Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: they said they among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them. Didst thou hearest the one about the rabbi, the minister, and the penguin?” Psalms 126:2.

We Americans are often uneasy about religious matters. We try to respect others’ faiths but often fall short.  This is true for me when I encounter such things as speaking in tongues (glossolalia), which is common in Pentecostal churches, including the Wassila Assembly o’ God, Sarah Palin’s former church. According to her former pastor, no one recalls Sister Palin actually speaking in tongues, but the possibility she has is intriguing. (Apparently Episcopalians are unable to achieve this state of religious excitement, but they rarely get very excited outside of church either. And Unitarians? Forget about it.)
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As little as I respect Sarah Palin’s record, governance, and general philosophy (“I’m ready because I said so!”), I am frankly very troubled about the fact that someone hacked into her personal Yahoo email account.

Like everyone else, I’d love to read her emails…does she LOL alot?  Use smileys? Sign her emails with “XOXO Your BFF”? But email should be as sacrosanct as postal mail, whether it originates from a .gov account, Yahoo, or any other service. There is a correct (i.e., legal) way to gain access to someone’s email, and that’s what should be used. It is easy to conclude that she deserves to have her account hacked, since she was using it to conceal some gubernatorial activities. Still, we all have the same expectation of privacy. If it can happen to her, it can happen to you or me. Read the rest of this entry »

John McCain, challenged over his choice of vice presidential candidate, his unswerving acceptance of disproven “facts” about his opponent and his weak grasp of economic issues, asserted that at age 72 he’s as sharp as a tack.

McCain denied reports that his thinking is irregular in any way. “These whippersnappers are full of prunes,” he said of critics.  He was responding to public reactions that he was out of touch when he commented that the economy is fundamentally strong, in spite of the collapse of two investment banks and the possible imminent demise of AIG. These events, in addition to a 6.1% unemployment rate have thrown his campaign off message.

His campaign manager, Rick Davis, denied reports that Sarah Palin will accompany McCain to most campaign events because he sometimes forgets where he is. He denied other reports that McCain sometimes addresses Palin as “Cindy.”

In a lighter moment, when a reporter playfully asked McCain, “Boxers or briefs,” McCain replied, “Depends.”