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Dear Alaska:

I am writing to let you know that once again your dog, “Sarah,” has shown up in my yard. She had no collar or tags; however I recognize her from her previous unwelcome visits to the neighborhood. She came to my attention when I heard her endless, shrill barking. Of course when I came to my window to investigate there was nothing there except Sarah, barking to hear herself bark I guess. I have tried to quiet her; however she ignores everyone who doesn’t fawn over her. I do not want to tell you how to raise your dog, but I think she needs entirely too much attention. As a working dog I would assume that there are things she could be doing at home if she was simply kept there. I realize, having been around her for a while, that she wasn’t the sharpest pup in the litter, but there must be something that she can do besides make noise.

Please understand that I am a dog lover and have three dogs myself. However, I do not let them run wherever they want. While I absolutely do not approve of chaining a dog in the backyard, I believe a tall fence around the home could work wonders. Furthermore, when my dogs do their business in someone’s yard I always clean up after them. I would appreciate it if you would do the same. I don’t know what Sarah eats, but it is my impression that she is full of, well you know.

Please come and get Sarah as soon as possible. I do not want to call the authorities, but if you do not take care of this immediately I will have no choice. Finally, I noticed that Sarah was wearing some very expensive doggie clothing called “Doggie Style.” You may want to look into what she is doing in order to get it. It may need to be returned.

Sincerely,

Georgia

News Item: Focus on the Family Action releases it’s annual “2008 Christmas-Friendly Shopping Guide” which advises us which greedy commercial enterprises “embrace Christmas,” and alerts us to those who have “purged or marginalized Christmas.”

angry-santaAhh, the Christmas season. Peace on earth, goodwill to all men, except to those of you who don’t think and behave the same way the self-appointed Guardians of the holiday spirit have deemed worthy. For several years these folks pummled Wal-Mart, which certainly deserves to be pummeled for many secular reasons, for saying “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas.”  Now the Guardians bring us a brand new naughty ‘n’ nice list that includes:

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FRClogoIn a word, no.

This obvious question dawned on me several months ago during the presidential campaign. I visited the FRC site, which is full of information, misinformation, homophobia, conservative philosophy, and outright fear-mongering. Mind you, I fully respect other’s rights to an opinion, but I don’t have to respect the opinions themselves and I found little worthy of respect there.

In fact, while the FRC prominently features the word “research” in its title, precious little evidence of research shows up on its web site. It would appear that what is vaguely referred to as “research” are actually the opinions of writers from various think tanks (an ironic term in this context) and the FRC itself.  All things considered, the “research” appears to be more of an intellectual circle-jerk, an endless process in which the FRC’s experts merely cite each other for support of their opinions. More often, they simply make pronouncements with no reference to science or supporting data.

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Egg SeparatorThe afterglow of the election is fading, the economy bites, money is tight, and the holidays are just around the corner. It’s time to be thinking about gifts for friends and family. For those of you at home who are struggling to come up with an affordable gift that says, “I couldn’t think of anything better to get you,” you’re in luck.

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Has anyone in Alaska seen Sarah Palin lately?

It would appear that the fortuitious timing of the Republican Governor’s Conference has delayed her return to Alaska, where rumor has it she is governor. Meanwhile, here in the Lower 48 Palin’s reception at the RPG has been chilly and she continues to atract negative attention from the media (i.e, Katie Couric.)

She has appointed God to be her political advisor, and will await His divine advice before pursuing future political goals, such as Senator in 2010. Meanwhile, in what can only be considered poetic justice, Mark Begich’s lead over loveable curmudgeon Ted Stevens continues to grow, giving my Alaska friends reason to hope that the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t a train.

Stay tuned…

The chickens have come home to roost. The eagle has landed. A bird in the hand is worth–never mind.

no whiningAlthough Governor Palin has returned to Alaska, the criticism hasn’t stopped from the Lower 48 (49 if you count DC.)  Palin called her critics “cowards” and “jerks” for complaining about her expensive wardrobe. She also seethed because anonymous Republican campaign sources told Fox (oh, the irony!) that she did not know Africa was not a country but a continent and could not name the three countries in the North American Free Trade Agreement. “I consider it cowardly” that they did not allow their names to be used, she said. It’s easy to conclude that she has wasted no time becoming a whiner.

Frankly, she has a point. If the criticisms are factually-based, those who made them should own up to them. At the same time, the fact that she is on the receiving end of such attacks is not only poetic justice (remember “palling around with terrorists”?) but also reflective of how little respect she earned within the campaign. Therein lies a warning for those 64% of Republicans who want her to run for president in 2012.

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mccain-palin heartHe was a former fighter pilot and war hero married to a cold, aloof heiress. She was a frustrated housewife, yearning to leave small town life for the bright lights of the big city. Introduced by friends, after just one phone call, they knew it was right.

“Meet me in Minneapolis,” he said. “I’ll show you what you’ve been missing: fame, adoring fans, beautiful clothes…we have a great future together.”
“I can’t leave my family,” she replied. “But I deserve so much more than I have here. Do you have any idea how badly hockey players smell after a game?”
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I realize how crazy that sounds and it reads even crazier when I actually type the words. I was surfing the news today when the first sentence of an AP story on the election read, “Counting down to Election Day, Barack Obama appears within reach of becoming the nation’s first black president as the epic campaign draws to a close against a backdrop of economic crisis and lingering war.” My first thought was, “oh yeah, he is black.” It dawned on me that I have been so focused on a Democrat winning the election that Obama’s race had receded in importance.

I’m not trying to be self-congratulatory about not being racist. Be skeptical of anyone who tells you he/she isn’t racist. I don’t think there’s anyone in this country who doesn’t struggle with racism from time to time, and that includes me. We live in a country that has always had fault lines between haves and have-nots, whites and people of color, Jews and gentiles, gays and straights, and of course, those of us who prefer the Stones to the Beatles.

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