You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2008.

Disclaimer: The word “happy” is not intended to define or be limited to a specific mood state, attitude or set of cognitions.

Use of the term “holidays” does not endorse nor imply the accuracy or inclusion of all possible holidays, whether they be legal, religious, both, or neither.

Further, use of the term “holidays” is not intended to encompass all the various opinions and/or dogmas set forth in civil and religious treatises concerning the proper usage of terms or customs that all possible holidays denote.

The term “all” does not imply a “war on Christmas,” a “battle against Hanukkah,” a “disrespect for Winter Solstice celebrations of ancient Pagan cultures such as naked Druids drinking fluids,” a “disregard for Kwanzaa,” nor a lack of interest in Festivus.

Use of the phrase” Happy Holidays” reflects only the personal view of The Skipper, who enthusiastically embraces all religious and legal customs that allow him to get away from work for a week.

In no case shall this statement be regarded as anything but the opinion or endorsement of The Skipper, the Admiral,  Dylan the Side of the Road Rescue Dog, or Tucker the Crazy Ass Relatives Rescue Dog.

Those individuals who wish to take issue with the good wishes expressed above are advised to contact The Skipper’s legal representative, Frederick Kissmyass, Esq.

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” (Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina)

Some years ago the Admiral and I lived next to a family we referred to as “the Clampetts.” If ever there was a hapless collection of individuals, it was they. We loaned them our lawnmower, they put in the wrong kind of gas and ruined it. We loaned them a ladder, it mysteriously disappeared. Their 14 year old daughter got pregnant. He lost his job. She was too distractible and unstable to work. And yet, somehow they maintained their good humor, kept plugging away and all things considered, we liked them and admired their perseverance.
Read the rest of this entry »

So, when is this “peace on earth” thing starting? If you think I’m a little war-weary, you’d be right. I’ve been noticing lately how many wars are going on out there, and I don’t necessarily mean of the traditional, armed conflict variety.

To wit:
“War on Terrorism.”  This has been going on for a while now and no one can agree whether we are winning.

“War on Drugs.” We know how well that’s going.

“War on the Middle Class.” Lou Dobb’s favorite, second only to the “War on Illegal Immigration.”

“War on Christmas.”  Waged by those evil retailers who don’t show sufficient enthusiasm for Christian Consumerism.  After all, greed and over-consumption in the name of religion is what makes America great, right? And let’s not forget those nasty folk who complain about state-sponsored Christmas displays on public property.
Read the rest of this entry »

On a recent drive down Route 460, I came across a sign just outside Appomattox, Virginia, describing it as “where America reunited.” I found that to be a rather charitable interpretation of an event that signalled when some Southerners decided to stubbornly hold on to a disreputable history rather than join the rest of us.

Hopefully the decisive Obama win in Virginia portends the eventual end of Virginia’s less admirable traits. Although Virginia’s previous and current governors are Democrats and voters just elected a second Democrat to the Senate, Virginia still struggles with a troubling past that includes segregation and massive resistance to integration, racism, and for some, a blind dedication to “Old Virginny.”
Read the rest of this entry »